Nambi Pambo!

Coming soon to a cinema near you is yet another sequel in the epic saga of Rambo, “Nambi Pambo -The Not-so-Prodigal Son”.

This timeless family classic tells the obscure tale of the son of Rambo, who chooses to reject violence to atone for all the deaths caused by his Father. In his quest for redemption, he joins a Buddhist colony and even journeys to the Vatican for a course in “Cheek Turning”.

After many struggles with orange bead necklaces in Tibet, he comes home only to put three volunteers from a blood drive in hospital after they “draw first blood”. He then pees on his wounds and climbs a cherry tree to stitch them up with a safety pin. Not paying for the damages only prompts the movies’ catch phrase of there being “no pot of gold at the end of the Rambo”.

The film is refreshingly unburdened by morbid concepts like plot and dialogue. Most of the audio comprises of grunts and monosyllabic outbursts. You do not need to think to understand Nambi Pambo - in fact, no cerebral activity is necessary whatsoever. The entire cast of “Jack Ass” has given it an unequivocal thumbs up and talk of yet another sequel has already begun circulating in kinder garden toilets across the land.

Many viewers have called it the silliest movie since “Sex and the City” but even its biggest critics have admitted that it has made them feel smarter than anyone involved in its production.

Nambi is played by Angelina Jolie, who claims it is her most challenging role ever as it gave her tetanus. She has been quoted as saying, “There was nothing ‘safe’ about those pins and I’m not going to stop suing till their manufacturers own up to being a bunch of rotten liars!”