Fairy Tale Alert!

The Social Institute for Lore’s Legal Interventions, or SILLI, has now discovered terrorism brewing even among fairy tale characters. At the news conference, on Monday, their spokesman stated “it was one thing when the Big Bad Wolf was involved in drug trafficking and arms dealing but now that Jack and Jill have begun acting like Bonnie and Clyde, we feel it is time to enforce a crackdown”.

Officials also reported that the three little pigs had secretly been funding a deadly splinter cell called “The Al-Kebab”. Evidence has linked Al-Kebab to Swine Flu, Trichinosis and the vicious attacks of food poisoning at the local 7/11. All three pigs have been remanded into police custody. Francis the leader of the trio, has been quoted as grunting “Some pigs actually are more equal than others.” His brothers Kevin and Bacon seem to agree.

When asked if the pigs were responsible for the bombing of London Bridge, they replied that we could cross that bridge when we rebuilt it.  The representative of SILLI however, said that the heinous arsonist behind the “London Bridge Barbecue” remains a mystery. All that is known is the assailant was wearing red. Consequently, the list of suspects has been narrowed down to Little Red Hiding Hood, the Pink Panther and Ali Baba’s forty thieves. Half the cast of Baywatch was also hauled in until it was realized that they weren’t fairy tale characters but women who surgically sought to become fairy tales.

Pamela Anderson was extremely displeased as she was allegedly also roughed up by female police officers for being uncooperative. One of them punched her in the chest and the resulting explosion claimed the lives of at least 6 officers and one very confused police mascot. Pammy remains unharmed and in custody for staging a suicide bombing.

The recent crime spree amidst even the fictional populace has largely been attributed to their spending too much time on television. Their corruption is already being dismissed as an understandably natural urban malaise.